"Cloudy, With A Chance Of (Swedish) Meatballs" and Rockets - Reporter's Notebook
Shopping at IKEA just hits different in Israel - especially when the terror and Iron Dome rockets are shaking the self-service department aisles
My WhatsApp convo with an ikea branch rep that you couldn't make up ;-) - Seinfeld ain't got NUTHIN' on Israeli wartime pluck:
Me: "Is the Kiryat Ata branch [Haifa suburb] still open?"
IKEA: "Hi Dave - S*** here - the branch is open from 10-20:00, as usual."
Me: "Is the bomb shelter still in the synagogue?"
IKEA: "Correct." thumbs 👆. Have a great rest of your day - we're at your service. "
Me: "Stay safe. Is Waze still working in your vicinity - or is everything still [GPS] jammed by the IDF [to deter GPS-guided missile]?"
IKEA: "To my great sorrow, no. Have a great rest of your day. 😉"
Update: that exact area was bombed yesterday, and - as of this posting - at least twice today - one time when I was in-store (see below) and shortly after I left. Timing is everything; here’s my route to and from the Swedish firm that—ironically, once boycotted the Jewish State):
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Turns out that the GPS was, indeed, scrambled, but it's a pretty straight shot (umm, so to speak) to navigate from our house to this particular branch.
While inside, casually perusing the Ivar shelving and checking when the shelves in the size I needed would arrive (mid-October. Grrrrrrr), Hezbollah maniacs fired a salvo of rockets into our area, aimed to kill.
Thankfully, Iron Dome defensive interceptor slammed the ones headed for you-know-who and other shoppers out of the sky, the massive booms incidentally shaking the entire building, along with the well-know self-service area near the checkout aisles. No - I didn't amble over to the “discount corner,” figuring I'd earned the right to pay full retail-under-fire.
In an updated take on the old US IKEA tag line:
“It's a big country at war - someone has to furnish it.”
As I pulled away from the loading dock, a new brace of alerts - exactly along the route I'd be taking home.
Wish me luck running the steel rain gauntlet.
Update: rockets all along my route soon after I left, too! And over our neighboring village of Mrar just before I arrived - (is my timing good, or what? 🤔 😂 🤣). My exclusive footage of the previous shootdowns overhead, on Monday, is here.
Morning update and press briefs:
Amichai Stein - Kan News Ch. 11:
“Assessment in the American administration: Israel will have to raise the level of reaction against Hezbollah*
“The American administration estimates that Israel will be forced to climb the scale of reactions, and that the current level will not remain for long.
“Israeli officials told American officials in recent days: ‘Israel could step up [attacks], and we also held discussions on the issue.’
“The administration estimates that Hezbollah is not expected to come down soon, and perhaps even expand its firing range, and therefore estimates that Israel will be forced to respond in ways we have not seen until now.”
Amit Segal - Ch. 12 News/Yediot Aharonot:
“500 dead in Lebanon since the beginning of the attacks
“The IDF attacked at least 1600 targets
“On the other hand: 200 rockets on Israel, several casualties from shrapnel.
PM Netanyahu to cabinet, Monday night: “The purpose of the Israeli actions is to disconnect Hezbollah from the war with Hamas.”
Baruch Yadid - Israel Hayom daily: “492 dead and 1645 wounded in Lebanon; 90 schools were opened to receive the thousands of displaced people, acompanied by great tensions between Sunnis and Shiites who are not accepted in the villages. There is also fear on the part of the Lebanese that the presence of Shiites and Hezbollah operatives, if they are among the displaced, will result in damage to the residential areas.”
Brings back memories. Once, my brother-in-law was bringing my daughter, who was doing her National Service at that time near Tel Aviv and who was not feeling well on that day, to meet me at my place of work in Ashkelon, for me to take her home to Gush Katif. I called him to ask their whereabouts so I could plan my steps. When he answered the phone I could barely hear him for all of the background noise. I shouted: "Where are you?" He answered: "Ikea!" That meant they were passing Rishon LeZion. I figured I had about 45 minutes. Then he shouted again over the noise: "Ikea!!!" I didn't understand why he repeated himself. I did understand his stress, though, because the only reason I could think of for him leaving the windows open on a very hot day was that his air-conditioning must be broken. I said: "OK. Got it. Thanks." He shouted again: "Ikea!...Ikea!...IKEA!" He must have rolled his window back up to make sure I understood and finally I did. He was not saying IKEA, he was saying: Hi Hikia, Hebrew for "She threw up." That's why he had his windows open. The air-conditioner was fine. The condition of the air was not. This whole thing took about ten minutes. Fearful of the volcano of laughter about to erupt from within, and aware of the unpleasantness my brother-in-law was experiencing, I asked again: "Where are you?" He answered, now laughing: "we are just passing Rishon. There, IKEA is off to the left." The moral of the story? I don't know. Maybe it is be thankful that you only have to dodge missiles. :) Be safe, Dave.
Thanks for your updates. One of the first things I look for. 🙏